men of a certain age and tax bracket

Have you seen Heat? I love this movie. It's three hours long, it's dark, Al Pacino's wife has a really tight haircut in it, everyone's wearing black and grey the whole time, it's tense, it's awesome. Thanks, Michael Mann. There's a scene where Al Pacino and Robert de Niro are grabbing a bite together (right) and every time it comes on, I announce "WE'VE GOT AN ACT-OFF HERE". Total act off. I pick Bobby every time. Heat is such a good movie. By the poster, you don't really know what it's about, but Val Kilmer is fucking running and has flowy blonde hair. You've got De Niro, Pacino, Kilmer, SIZEMORE, HAYSBERT, Judd (Ashley), Voight, Portman, and even a little early Piven.

Jeremy Piven plays a doctor in it for like two seconds after (spoiler alert) Val Kilmer gets shot during the big shoot out on the streets of Los Angeles that I watch every weekend because it's always on BIO. He's like, pretty much half bald. This is fiteen to sixteen years ago, whenever Heat was filmed. Flash forward to present day, he's got pretty much a full head of (albiet, thinning) hair, he's addicted to sushi to the point of experiencing mercury poisoning and having to drop out of a Broadway play, and evidently getting tons of chicks up in the hills? I can't stand Jeremy Piven.

Also, take a quick gander at John Travolta's meticulously carved out hairline and his own personal army of plugs. In a Hairplug Battle Royale between Piven & Travolta, I'd take Travolta. I don't see how he can run a comb through that solid mass of other people's hair transplanted into his scalp.