Friday, October 8, 2010
Matisyahu
Wow. How many people are going to see Life As We Know It? None. How many hours worth of commercials have I seen for Life As We Know It over the last three and a half months? Ballpark, around 35 hours worth of commercials. This same premise can be applied to every movie she's been in, with the excepion of Knocked Up, which for whatever strange reason she immediately turned around and publicly trash talked. Good call.
Katherine Heigl talked shit about the only good movie she's been in and abandoned the only other good thing she had going for her. I'm talking about Grey's Anatomy, not Roswell, just in case there was any confusion there. Can she just stop being cast in anything and can any project that she is going to be cast in just be stopped immediately? She's not a bad actress or anything, she's pretty, and she adopted that cute Asian baby girl (everyone knows they're the cutest), but she's not exactly rangey. Is she a Scientologist yet?
Katherine Heigl talked shit about the only good movie she's been in and abandoned the only other good thing she had going for her. I'm talking about Grey's Anatomy, not Roswell, just in case there was any confusion there. Can she just stop being cast in anything and can any project that she is going to be cast in just be stopped immediately? She's not a bad actress or anything, she's pretty, and she adopted that cute Asian baby girl (everyone knows they're the cutest), but she's not exactly rangey. Is she a Scientologist yet?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Dillweed
One night you'll meet someone who is absolutely identical in every way to someone you used to know and you realize that person wasn't unique in any way at all. This has happened before and it will happen again and it will happen to you for the rest of your life.
Is Kanye West "back"? There's loose talk about that, right? Did he ever go away? His last album or two (whatever came out after 'Graduation') weren't that great, I don't think. But fuck it, I'm glad he crashed Taylor Swift's acceptance speech because she didn't deserve to win that shit anyways because her music is the sound equivalent of pee pee and that video was so gay it's kind of mind blowing that it beat out Beyonce and her two friends dancing and shaking their shit in 4" heels and leotards for 4 minutes straight. It helps that Nicki Minaj is on "Monster" and Bon Iver, too, which will intrigue all the cool white 20somethings out there. "Power" is pretty good. Also, I like the last song he played at the VMAs this year about douche bags. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Remember when Kanye told us all that one day when we hear MUSIC we will equate it with Kanye West? I still have my doubts.
Is Kanye West "back"? There's loose talk about that, right? Did he ever go away? His last album or two (whatever came out after 'Graduation') weren't that great, I don't think. But fuck it, I'm glad he crashed Taylor Swift's acceptance speech because she didn't deserve to win that shit anyways because her music is the sound equivalent of pee pee and that video was so gay it's kind of mind blowing that it beat out Beyonce and her two friends dancing and shaking their shit in 4" heels and leotards for 4 minutes straight. It helps that Nicki Minaj is on "Monster" and Bon Iver, too, which will intrigue all the cool white 20somethings out there. "Power" is pretty good. Also, I like the last song he played at the VMAs this year about douche bags. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Remember when Kanye told us all that one day when we hear MUSIC we will equate it with Kanye West? I still have my doubts.
Friday, October 1, 2010
The Love Guru
This is one of the best pictures I've seen on the internet lately. John Travolta with his army of hairplugs now looks exactly like the John Travolta at Madame Tussauds'.
( o )( o )
Well ladies, WE DID IT! Women have surpassed men in the doing well department because we are better looking and bigger than ever! I used to have a friend who told me I got everything (i.e., weed) for free because I'm a girl. Success!
Examples:
1. Whitney Cummings. Her Hasselhoff Roast jokes were SO ROUGH and so good and her hair was so big and black, I'm suprised Lisa Lampanelli didn't try to fuck it! She's mean and skinny but also really nice. She took out Pam Anderson, Kid Rock, Bret Michaels & Tommy Lee in one joke about interracial AIDS blood drinking? If you need a poor friend, Whitney, call me.
2. Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj are basically the bisexual Ina Gartens of the pop and hip hop communities, respectively.
3. Christina Hendricks is the only hot size 10+ broad on TV. Literally. Who else can you think of? Cameron Manheim? I think big chicks have mostly been banished to satillite radio and special shows on Oxygen. She has made it okay for me to wear skirts up to my tits that hold in my gut and make my ass look huge. Finally.
Big hair, big racks, loud voices, and big asses. All-American, baby!!
Examples:
1. Whitney Cummings. Her Hasselhoff Roast jokes were SO ROUGH and so good and her hair was so big and black, I'm suprised Lisa Lampanelli didn't try to fuck it! She's mean and skinny but also really nice. She took out Pam Anderson, Kid Rock, Bret Michaels & Tommy Lee in one joke about interracial AIDS blood drinking? If you need a poor friend, Whitney, call me.
2. Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj are basically the bisexual Ina Gartens of the pop and hip hop communities, respectively.
3. Christina Hendricks is the only hot size 10+ broad on TV. Literally. Who else can you think of? Cameron Manheim? I think big chicks have mostly been banished to satillite radio and special shows on Oxygen. She has made it okay for me to wear skirts up to my tits that hold in my gut and make my ass look huge. Finally.
Big hair, big racks, loud voices, and big asses. All-American, baby!!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Do Your Balls Hang Low?
It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to, step to, step to, step to.
I had a totally heavy nightmare last night and it ended with credits and I woke up while the credits of my dream were rolling, two minutes before my alarm was about to go off.
I had a totally heavy nightmare last night and it ended with credits and I woke up while the credits of my dream were rolling, two minutes before my alarm was about to go off.
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