The MTV Movie Awards were on Sunday and do you know what the absolute highlight was for me? The swearing! WTF censors? I live for swearing! That was awesome and something I am happy to have witnessed. Fuck the FCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Here's something I'm sad to not have witnessed. Okay, so recently my dad had an abscess above his knee, like a giant unpoppable zit. Picking it didn't work, hot compresses didn't work, and the time came to get this that bad boy lanced!
So he went to a local medical center in the fine city of Walled Lake, Michigan, and the Dr. put a needle into that jawn, injected a local anesthesia into the abcess, then he took one of those long wooden Q-tips and JAMMED THE WOODEN END INTO THE WOUND. He was wriggling it around and digging and really getting shit out of there, meanwhile some poor nurse was wiping up all of the fluid. He went back a few days later and the Dr. was like, "I don't quite like the way this looks. This might hurt a little." Then jammed the end of a long wooden Q-tip into the hole, sans anesthesia. HAHA WHAT? Personally, I would have done some at-home surgery shit and lanced it on my own. But I probably would have done something pretty similar. Who wouldn't?!
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